A Submissive is a Reflection of His/Her Dominant, or are they?

A Submissive is a Reflection of His/Her Dominant, 

or are they?

I have heard this on countless occasions times, and I am certain I am not the only one.

Kind folks with good intentions tend to say that subs should be on their best behavior, because they are the reflection of the dominant who owns them.

The personal responsibility of the submissive, all of a sudden, is not taken into account.

I am not arguing that bad behavior cannot reflect poorly on the Dominant in the relationship, however, it does not give any responsibility to the sub, because the last time I checked, we were adults first, and if you cannot act like one then that is all on you, not the person who is trying to mold you into someone that can serve them.

If am rude or have ill behavior toward others as a child, then of course it reflects poorly on the parents and their ability to teach their children manners and proper behavior.

This of course, is where I think the belief that the Dominant is that reflection, however, I do not know about you, but I do not equate a Dominant as with parenthood. Then again, parenthood would not be considered what was called a power-exchange dynamic either.

A Dominant is a sub's partner, owner, and his or her love, and a sub does not just lose personal responsibility, and to demonstrate maturity just he or she is in power-exchange relationship.

A submissive does not suddenly become child-like in his or her need to behave well.

Yes, he or she may feel that in lifestyle-related events, where there might be a level of protocol, no matter how casual that the sub's behavior is being observed, as an example of how a dominant leads him or her.

If a sub comes into the relationship with a higher level of appropriate behavior and politeness, this can look good on the Dominant also, even though he or she never taught it to them.

Therefore, those well-meaning people who say that a submissive is a reflection of their Dominant are only half right, as he or she is a reflection of everyone who ever influenced them. He or she is their parents, their teachers and their role models, and he or she are themselves, and should be able to be looked at as a submissive and not just as the reflection of his or her dominant.

Does it work the other way also?

What if the Dominant has poor behavior or is rude?

Does this look bad on the submissive?

Unfortunately, I would have to say yes. Think about it for a moment:

If you see a couple and the Dominant is being rude, do you make a snap judgement that the submissive could be rude as well?

Let us make a point to be the best reflection of ourselves at all times, as it bodes well for us as the human race, not just a good behaved submissive or a polite dominant.

What do you say?

You are not only an example of what kind of Dominant owns you, or the kind of submissive that is owned by you.

Source: Unknown