Being Dominant or Submissive

Obtained by David Coates

Author Doma Nant

I am lost, I am confused, I know the direction and I am fully aware of the destination and the achievements to be had. I walk blindly with my eyes wide open.

I see many Dominants and subs asking questions with regards to their own Dominance/submission, how do they prove it, how do they confirm it, how do they accept it?

Over thinking and over-analyzing to the point of confusion, labeling and self- diagnosing repeatedly, yet ultimately overlooking the simplistic part, so take a second, ask yourself these simple questions:

1) Do I need to be told to breath?
2) Do I need to be informed by another that I need the loo?
3) Am I directed when I am hungry, or Is my happiness dependent upon the opinion of others?
4) Do I over think stepping forward to the point I stumble?

5) Or, are these things natural to me, and I merely accept them for what they are?

Dominance or submission are not taught, they are natural, they are because, granted; you can learn to become better at them, but if they are not already there, they will not be.

Do not ask how or why you are what you are, simply embrace it and learn to manage better that which you have become, to enable you to be the best you can be.

Find happiness in what you do, if not leave it behind and find happiness in something else.

Do not bow to the harlots and charlatans preaching "one true way"

Be true to yourselves and find your own way.

Bottoms top and tops bottom, bottoms top from the bottom and round and round we go, it does not make your experience any more or any less real, it makes it yours.

Laugh, cry, love, hate, but most importantly, live and respect; that is all you have to give or to take from this really. Have fun and be free to explore who you are and what you desire, find like-minded.

Listen to the advice others are willing to offer, but take from it only what you need, adapt it, modify it, over come it and own it, make it yours, for it is your life, your body, your heart and your mind

If we put as much effort into ourselves as we do in telling others they are wrong, we would improve drastically.

If we focus less on hunting out the "fakes, wannabes or players" and focus more on moving ourselves toward our goals we'll be happier.

Yes, some fall into the arms of someone who is wrong for them, but it is a two-sided play, the misleading is no more damaging than the mislead, spend more energy on learning about what it is that we do and less on rushing in bull headed.

Let us not blame it purely on fake players, but also make aware that there are also inexperienced people making stupid choices and getting themselves burned.

There are people in the world only looking for sex.

There are liars.

There are those who claim to be what they are not.

There are dangers.

There are fantasist.

There are fanatical people.

There are genuine people.

There are genuine mistakes.

There are free-thinkers.

There are lemmings.

But there is also the ability to research.

You got burned by someone else, great, take from it that which you need, learn it and grow from it, do not wallow in self pity, seeking to blame and lynch another because of an incompatible connection, research better, learn better, be better.

Stop hunting consolidation because of your naivety and/or stupidity, stop trying to force that which never was, finger pointing and whining like a spoiled child take responsibility for your lack of action to protect yourself

It does not matter if your online only, a LDR, or a 24/7, as long as you are doing what you do, getting the enjoyment you seek for yourself without sacrificing others, without lying, cheating or manipulating as you go; for you can not expect honesty and respect if you cannot offer these yourself, to all involved in your experiences, whether willingly or not. And have FUN!

Author Doma Nant